Saturday, November 28, 2009

Life is a Lesson in Coping


So I've realized that coping with what life throws at you is an art; one I have yet to master. I'm obviously done my summer classes since it is nearly December. I've now come mid-way through yet another busy year of University. This school year finds me trying to balance school, my child, and my sanity in solitary while my husband pursues his Master's degree in another city. We manage daily phone calls but they are more just brief check-ins to make sure we are both still alive. I have seen my husband in total for a week and a half since September.

Throughout these last few months my laptop has died with all my school work and writing dieing with it, my daughter has tested every possible boundary in every way imaginable and my mental health which I thought was stabilized with meds has taken a slight dip into the negative. I've had to drop a class from my 3 classes therefore prolonging graduation even more. So suffice it to say I've been coping but it's been difficult. Some days I feel like I'm in water up to my neck, balancing on algae covered rocks and my feet keep slipping.

If anything all of this has taught me yet again the importance of taking time to sustain inner peace through whatever means necessary. Whether that be by going to counseling, being active, eating healthier or just simply some time for myself doing something I enjoy. I think most importantly though is forgiving myself for not being perfect and not being able to do everything at once. It doesn't mean I'm lazy, or less of a person...it just simply means I'm human and have limits. Realizing your limits and respecting them is important for everyone but I think probably more so for someone who struggles with mental illness of any sort. As much as I'd like to think I'm just like everyone else It's important for me to remember that I do have an illness and I do need to keep that in mind when setting goals.

Life is a learning process and some of us learn at a slower pace than others. I don't think thats a bad thing, just the reality of how things are.