Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Lend me your ear...

So I have this problem. I'm a thought hoarder. When something is bugging me, no matter how serious, I fear deeply that if I were to share what it was with friends, family, or my husband that they a) wouldn't care or b) would think I'm a horrible person and crazy.

I know it's numerous things that goes into this complex.
  1. I guaranteed have some attachment issues from my parents' methods 
  2. I have social phobia so I think everyone thinks badly of me 
  3. Many people have shown me, throughout the years, that love can be conditional for some people and if it is, it hurts when it's yanked away from you.

Now here's the problem. Everyone needs a support system but when you keep everyone at a distance, that's a long way to fall. Now I don't mean to be distant and I don't mean to push people away, but I'm fairly certain that when I do start latching on and depending on people for support and really telling them how I feel that I may not be able to let go. Beyond my "arms reach" attitude is a very needy person who just wants to be told they are worth someones time. I'd go as far as to say I need that.

I'm not an expert on the human psyche but I do know a bit and I'd hazard to guess most people need to feel worthwhile, though some may have more roadblocks to getting there than others.

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