I don't have the Swine Flu but I may have "Baby Fever"

So I've got this problem.

Every time I see a baby, whether on T.V., a movie, the subway, or any other number of scenarios, I want one. I don't just think to myself "It sure would be nice to have a baby." I actually ache down to my core for want of one. Maybe it's because I'm nearing that big three-oh. Maybe it's because my daughter is nearing the tweens and I long for those days when she was oh so small. Maybe it's because my sister is on her second in as many years and I want to have what she has. Or maybe I'm just the type of person who wants kids. Whichever way you slice it, I want a baby.

This wouldn't be a problem save the fact that my husband doesn't want a baby. Sure I've already had a baby. I've experienced it; but I did so alone. My daughter happened before my husband did. What I long for is the whole kit-and-kaboodle: The jumping up and down pregnancy test from excitement; The Doctors visit where you and your husband smile in anticipation of the big day; The lamaze classes; The picking out baby names together. I want to do it right.

Now I don't know that kids are out of the question entirely. My husband may want kids down the line. I've asked and I usually get some vague answer which tells me more that he doesn't want to hurt me than he'd like to have kids, but he doesn't say no. Which is something right?

He just says for certain that he doesn't want kids now. He's going into a Master's program. I'm completing my undergraduate degree. He figures now isn't a good time, which I totally get. But if life has taught me anything it's that the heart wants what the heart wants. That and that things will eventually sort themselves out.

So I guess we'll see what develops.

(Pardon my pun. )